Sunday, September 9, 2007
So my sister got me hooked on this show. (you can watch the eps online which is good, since I don't have cable).
The basic concept is rounding up a bunch of socially inept dudes and allowing this weenis:
to teach these dudes how to bag chicks using his patented strategy. His name is "Mystery" (snerk). His myspace page is worth checking out simply for the misused asian motif (ying yangs and the kanji for dragon). Okay, first of all, labeling oneself mysterious or enigmatic is ALWAYS a mistake, especially when one dresses like a fucktarded 14 year old boy allowed to run amok in hot topic. "Mystery" invariably appears clad in a fake fur top hat, raver goggles, shirts with LED screens or voodoo dolls sewn into them, eyeliner, and best of all- a fake kissmark tattoo on his neck. To be honest he kind of looks like a methhead who went into rehab and this is what he's doing for community service now.He kind of looks like Steve Buscemi here. He is joined by his "wingmen" Matador (a swarthy fellow of indeterminant extraction) and J Dog, an aging Englishman with unfortunate racing stripe hair and the same former meth addict look. Fortunately we are spared from his other Jheri curl wielding "Pickup Master" buddy "Lovedrop" (ew) who assumably got his name from the fact his face looks like it's melting.
I can only assume that these guys are hitting on drunk bar skanks because Matador is the only one I'd let within a ten foot radius of me and that's because I like dark men and he doesn't have any stupid highlights in his hair. (also he's a scorpio and I have a boner for scorpio men).
Anyhoo, the show starts with a variety of shlubs- an Indian math geek, an emo asian kid named "spoon", a 45 year old virgin, a musical theatre geek who is always mistaken for gay (I wonder why?!), a chunky dude who lives in his parent's basement, a stereotypically hot Latino guy with social anxiety (who claims that Latinos are "born to make out" which is just so not true!)... First, they are subjected to self inflicted makeovers which seem to involve lots of bad, tacky chunky highlights, black fingernail polish (aping Mystery's style I guess- I am all for black fingernails on boys but not everyone can pull it off), tight jeans, and teeshirts with ties. Fortunately Mystery had the sense to tell the fat dude to wear a suit instead for the "strip club owner" look. I am totally rooting for the fat dude to win, and so far he's proved to be one of the more charming and confident contenders, even during the speedo challenge. It's all about the fat boys, yo.
So in each round they learn more "skills" to pick up the ladies (which my sister claims she is co-opting to pick up potential business clients) though the pick up lines invariably involve dental floss or masturbation (wtf?) And as is the way of reality TV, one dude is eliminated with each round. The best part, which probably appeals to the MMORPG sensibilities of the contestant's and Mystery's tacky goth style, is that with each round, the dudes who pass are awarded A PIMP MEDALLION WITH A CELTIC RUNE ON IT. It's like Hustle N' Flow meets Dungeons and Dragons!
I've watched eps. 1-5 and I await with baited breath to see who wins in the end. I am still rooting for the fat dude!