What's in your ho-liday ho-bag?

I admit it, "ho" is one of my favorite reclaimed words. Theoretically short for "hooker" or "whore," ho can imply not a sex worker but a sexually adventurous individual and seems more playful than "slut." Today we are going to reclaim the word "ho bag." Ho-bag is historically an insult, but today I am going to show you how to make your own ho bag, a very useful thing to have around this season when people are getting drunk at ho-liday parties and ho-oking up. Don't be caught unprepared- carry your ho-bag with you at all times!

Step One:
Find your ho bag. Cosmetics pouches work well for this purpose. If you just want to carry a few condoms and single serving lube packets, you could get this incredibly discreet and swanky condom compact. But if you hoping to throw in a vibrator or a toothbrush as well, go bigger- this silver snakeprint pouch by Devine Toys has an elegantly slutty vibe, and is big enough to tote some serious swag!

All the better if your ho-bag resembles an actual vag.

Step Two:
Stuff your ho-bag with safer sex stuff! I personally love the Beyond Seven studded condoms, and consider carrying some extra large condoms if you're a size queen. (While we are on the subject of Magnums, I'd like to publicly ask men with average sized cocks to STOP INSISTING ON USING MAGNUMS IF YOU DON'T ACTUALLY NEED THEM. Buying Magnum condoms does not magically make your dick bigger, but it does increase the risk of the condom slipping off during sex. Your dick is perfect the way it is, buy condoms that fit it properly.) Also gloves, female condoms, dental dams, whatever your barriers of choice are.

My favorite porta-lube! Pic courtesy of EdenFantasys.com.

You'll also want some lube. I dislike single serving lube packets (too messy and hard to use), but I love the 1oz bottle of System Jo Agape lube. It's tiny but holds a decent amount of a fantastic water-based lube, has a convenient and leak-proof snap top, and is refillable! At $6 what's not to love?

Step Three:
Sleepover stuff. This might include a travel toothbrush- they have those teeny tiny pre-toothpasted disposable ones now, though I havent tried them yet. A pair of clean underwear is always nice, too. These ones are cute, and available up to 3X! If you're not the sleepover type, pack a $20 for cab fare!

Step Four:

Fun stuff! A small vibrator is always nice. Jimmyjane makes an inexpensive yet totally classy bullet vibe that runs on watch batteries and is the perfect size for your ho-bag. If you're a luxury addict, the Lelo Nea or the We Vibe Salsa (shown at left) are two tiny but powerful, rechargeable options! Toy/body wipes are nice, too!

Depending on your tastes, and the size of your ho-bag, you could also pack a butt plug, a nipple clamps, a cock ring, etc...

What do you put in your ho-bag (if you have one?) Have fun and play safe!

This post was sponsored by EdenFantasys (all opinions expressed are my own), awesome retailer of vibrators, dildos, and other fine sex toys!