Hanging out in the free yoga room at SFO airport. We need these everywhere.
Hello friends!
I am blogging from 10,000 feet since apparently the Virgin WiFi isn't butch enough to handle Netflix instantview (I was hoping to dork out and watch LOST for 3 hours, but tis not to be.) So you get an update instead.
I've been in my Bay Area hometown for the past week, embracing my crunchy heritage. Its kind of luxurious to be in a place where the food is organic everywhere you go, and you can buy kombucha at the mexican corner store. It's fucking expensive, but really nice. I spent $17 on a tin of imported French tea, and $27 on pastries and coffee at Tartine. Not exactly a sustainable lifestyle but a pleasant way to spend a week.
Anyway, today I want to talk about my various gadgets I used to stretch my back and neck. I have giant boobs and a giant head (seriously, hats don't fit me, ever) and a desk job, so I have chronic neck and back pain as a result. I do a fair amount of yoga, pilates and stretching as a result, and have invested in some cool tools to help with this.
First off, I'm kind of obsessed with my Himalaya Acupressure Mat. I am super into acupuncture and shiatsu, and this mat sort of provides a DIY quick fix. It's small and portable piece of foam (it's the thing I'm standing on in the photo above) with a cloth cover adorned with flower-shaped plastic spikes. You can lay on it on your back or stomach, even your neck or face (though it will leave indentations in your skin for about 10 minutes). It's incredibly painful the first time you use it, and then it feels really GOOD as it releases endorphins, stimulations circulation and accupressure points, and relaxes body and mind. (Kinky masochists need this thing like whoah, it feels almost as good as getting flogged.) I took mine with me on my trip and I actually have it under my back on the airline seat, and my back is not getting tired AT ALL. At $29, it's totally worthwhile.
My other favorite thing is my black foam roller. This baby will run you about $20 but it's good for so many things- rolling out your back, legs and IT band (esp. important for runners) and you can also lay on it lengthwise, stretch out your arms and totally relax. You can use it for Pilates exercises too. When I am feeling tired and tense and want to re-set without taking a nap, 10 minutes with this thing will usually make me feel human again. However, my mom apparently dislocated a rib using hers, so use with caution!
My parents are also really into this kind of shit (when it's not cracking ribs), and they sent me the Real-Ease Neck and Shoulder Relaxer. You lie on your back with your neck resting on this plastic and foam contraption for 10 minutes and it puts your junk into proper alignment. You can allegedly also use this while watching TV or whatever, but I haven't tried it that way. People tend to either love or hate this thing: My parents love theirs, I like mine, though I don't find the results are as dramatic with my other gadgets. At $30 it's kinda pricy for what it is, but it's a nice little relaxation ritual, especially if used in tandem with the acupressure mat.
So there you have it! I also have a yoga brick, strap, and other stuff, but these are probably my favorites. Self care is the bomb, especially if you can do it at home!
Here's some stuff that's been going on in my world that may warrant longer posts later, but want to talk about them now:
The death of Mark Aguhar. FUCK. Mark was a lot of things to the Chicago Queer community: an artist, goddess, performer, blogger and more. I did not know Mark very well, but that doesn't really matter, because I miss them all the same. I'd always see them at Heavy Rotation, my favorite body-positive queer dance party where they were a gogo dancer, always decked out in fierce lingerie, high heeled boots, swinging fringe, and pure attitude. I remember the first time I talked to them, they were wearing an amazing spiderweb harness made by House of Gaga. The last time I saw them, I slipped a dollar in their bra as they gyrated on stage last month. They accepted my facebook friend request two weeks before their death, and I always thought that I'd get to know them better over time, because that's often they way it was with me. They were someone I wanted to know better. They were only 24 years old. Mark's presence made my heart burst with joy with their celebration of fierce transgressive beauty, and that loss is too much to bear. It is often the bravest and brightest amongst us that suffer the hardest to be who we truly are. Learn more about Mark here.Read their Tumblr here.Info about their memorial here. Read some wonderful tributes here and here. Donate to their memorial fund (to help their family) here.
Oof, it's kind of hard to talk about other stuff on the heels of that. But here goes:
The release of fellow Chicago sex writer Clarisse Thorn's book "Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser." You do have to download the Kindle app for your phone or computer to read it (if you dont have the device, but it's worth it, especially since the book is only $3 until 3/17, a pricier paper edition will be released later in the month. BUY IT NOW. This book not only examines pickup artist culture from a feminist perspective, it's an amazing treatise on modern issues related dating, kink, polyamory and other topics through the lens of "The Game" as Clarisse analyzes her experiences in her personal life, the PUA scene, and culture at large. I've read about half of it so far, and it's simply amazing- I find myself nodding the whole time. It's currently #1 in both the Sex and Feminist Theory sections of Amazon, and I think this is going to become a very important piece of modern feminist literature. BUY IT. READ IT. LOVE IT. I will post a review once I've finished it.
All is well in the world of my personal affairs. I found out I got into one of my top choices for graduate school, which is very exciting (still waiting to hear from the other four.) SexIs magazine ran my article on using photography to boost positive self image, and subsequently I did an awesome photo shoot by Lake Michigan with Daniel Butler last weekend (inspired by the awesome blazer/sideboob combo on the cover of this Buffy Sainte-Marie album, yes, I'm random) and am planning a photo collaboration with the incredibly talented Mim Weisburd for next week, when I visit the SF Bay Area. I am currently in the process of assembling my Mariah Carey inspired lingerie closet. Chicago is like 80 degrees in March, which probably means the environment is in deep doodoo, but damn if it ain't nice. I am making Carne Asada Fries with a friend to celebrate getting into grad school this weekend. I am excited to drink wine and give myself a manicure with purple-grey Essie polish and glitter with a friend from high school tonight. Femme self-care FTW.
"(Lil B)showed me a cgi picture of an uprooted castle floating amongst clouds and said 'that’s the kind of music I want to make.' Then he played this song." Via CBRap.com
"Cloud Rap refers to a form of hip hop whose distinguishing features include ethereal, dreamlike beats (which often use wordless vocal samples, wherein singers harmonize or hold long notes, to produce a majestic effect) and abstracted, sometimes deliberately absurd, lyrics. Cloud Rap producers often rely on unconventional sample sources, incorporating elements from Indie, Experimental, and Ambient songs into their beats (in his beat for Main Attrakionz's "Illest Alive," for example, Clams Casino samples "Bachelorette" by Björk)."- from here
Cloud Rap, as far as I can tell, is what would happen if Pet Sounds era Brian Wilson and Elisabeth Fraser of Cocteau Twins got together and started producing hip hop albums. I feel corny contextualizing a hip hop movement in terms of harmony-driven, melancholic 1960s surf music, and airy-fairy '80s dream pop but-- G-Side producer Block Beataz samples beats from Enya. Yes, really. (More on this later).
I am here today to write about Cloud Rappers G-Side's 2011 album "THE ONE...COHESIVE." This is kind of a daunting task on multiple levels:
1. The album came out a year ago, so it's not exactly CUTTING EDGE MUSIC BLOGGING, but they're underground enough that I still this album is worth writing about.
2. They're not actually that obscure. They played at Pitchfork. Spin dubbed this record the #2 best hip hop record of 2011. But I still haven't met anyone whose listened to it besides the pretentious music journalists at the Chicago Reader (which is how I found out about this record, but don't tell nobody that.)
3. The only people who seem to read my weird and vaguely misguided white girl hip hop blogging are amateur MCs on OKCupid who have a hard on for white girls with big butts who love hip hop.
4. I don't actually know what I'm talking about. And I haven't even been able to find extensive production notes or transcripts of their lyrics, so I apologize in advance for any errors.
In a nutshell, G-Side is an hip hop duo from Athens, Alabama comprised of two MCs, "Yung Clova" and "ST 2 Lettaz," part of the Slow Motion Soundz label out of Huntsville. They have been described as "Film music symphonic," "Hypnotic" and "Spellbounding" (according to Wikipedia, but the labels fit). They get compared to Outkast by lazy music journalists a lot on the basis of being Southern, but they sound nothing like Outkast. They ARE Dirty South, if Dirty South played craps with 18 sided dice while listening to Dead Can Dance in an abandoned Huntsville housing project.
G side is gritty, melodic, elegant, melancholy, pained and dignified all at the same time. This album shows an unwavering loyalty and a desire to elevate their underrecognized scene in Alabama, while at the same time making no bones about the frustration they feel both within their community and the music industry at large. This album is sort of conscious hip hop, but at the same time, there's a song about sexting with this decidedly crude and vaguely racist line: "Wash my dick in the sink/bought some 'rillos at the store from the goddam chink". So, there you go.
I have decided the easiest way to tackle this is just comment on the tracks individually, and not actually try to be deep about it since I can't really adequately speak the production or parties involved. I've linked the youtube vids if you're curious, or you can nut up and pay to download the whole album here.
1. "Shots Fired" (Feat. Codie Global)
Sets the chillaxed "Slow Motion Soundz" tone for the record, with a dreamy pitched-down beat, mumbled rambling about music production, the occasional spliff lighting foley, and a repetitive chant of "Slow Mo 'Til the World Blow." This works pretty well as an opener, and is blissfully short as far as narcissistic "production notes" type cuts go, compared to say, Kanye's ten minutes of babbling in Last Call. (See? I still have to make fun of Kanye.) I feel a little stoned listening to this track. In a good way."You're a legend, so what? You can eat a dick." My sentiments exactly.
2."Came Up"(Feat. S.L.A.S.H)
Watch this video. It really kind of condenses what makes G-Side special into a few minutes. The "video girls" are wearing pants that actually cover their butts, and playing violins. G-Side sayeth:
"This video represents the struggle of Athens, Alabama. To some the city is only two exits off of I-65 for motorist traveling north or south. The video was shot in Trinity school which was the first black school built during segregation. This is a video reflecting the struggle of an oppressed voice searching for an entrance just to be heard."
The late afternoon light and juxtaposition of violins, sunset, and the harsh reality of abject poverty is really striking.
I also love that this video features an awesome female MC (S.L.A.S.H.?) who looks like a normal woman wearing a hoodie and rapping about real life shit ("We're gonna bring the whole fam like we're buying plane tickets at the CostCo"). Plus an Antoine Dodson shoutout: "Like the Lincoln Park Rapist I'mma come in through your window." Ha.
3."Y U Mad" (Feat. P.H. and Kirstmas)
This is a melancholy yet salty tribute to hometown haters, with melodic piano music that builds to an epic pitch. A theme that arises a lot across this album is the idea that everyone wants to be a famous rapper as an antidote to poverty and dealing drugs, but this isn't necessarily a realistic model for escape. "Stars look so bright when you come from a city with no lights." There's a touch of anger, like "we got ours, wannabe haters can fuck off," kind of the bitter antithesis of Lupe Fiasco's Hip-Hop Saved My Life. This vaguely Libertarian line in particular kind of caught me off guard: "Excuses such as poverty don't bother me, he could have chosen college, he ain't have to choose a robbing spree, so I have no apologies" OMG, G-SIDE, CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!!! (Yes, I'm kidding.)
4."I'm Sorry :( G-Side Feat. CP")
I'm not quite sure what G-Side is apologizing for, but it sure as hell isn't for making this awesome track. The track opens with "This time I'mma really get ill and black out/like an overdue utility bill," with a whispered refrain of "I'm sorry" over honeyed vocal harmonies that are as haunting as they are catchy (and what initially made me think of "Pet Sounds"). Also, I love that the title includes an emoticon.
7."Inner Circle (Feat. CP)"
This track really features the symphonic, operatic production that's the hallmark of the cloud rap genre. General bitching about being compared to Outkast by critics: "Well excuse me Miss Executive I'm from Alabama/that's probably why my music isn't quote-unquote 'Atlanta'." Damn right.
6. "Jones (Feat. Pope)"
With its gritty refrain of "I got a jones in my bones for the streets" this is one of harder tracks on the album...Yet, it features a dreamy, billowing Enya sample. Enough said.
7. Nat Geo Feat. Chris Lee
This is one of the more "commercial" sounding tracks on the album, with an almost "ballin' in Vegas" kind of production and chorus of "I'm dreaming with my eyes wide open." Ok, my favorite part of this song is a RANDOM ASS MONOLOGUE ABOUT NETIQUETTE AT THE END OF THE TRACK:
"To be on the internet, doing this business, you gotta be savvy and you gotta understand the etiquettes of being on the net, just like in the streets, you got to respect people out here, on the internet I feel like you got to respect people, there's a way to carry yourself on the net, so if you're real out here in this so-called 'terrestrial world' or the 'mortal world' you should be cool on the net. Just be you. There really ain't no difference, it's just another tactic to maneuver."
I love this bit because it sounds like a conversation I'd have while high at a college party in 1998. I also need more excuses to incorporate the expression "this so-called terrestrial world" into my conversations.
8. I am (Feat. DJ Cunta)
Ok, DJ Cunta? Best name ever. This song picks up with the technology theme from the the previous track:"Use the internet to network, constructed a network, then we all connected to get work." Harp samples are involved in this track.
9. Pictures (Feat. GMane)
GMane= Gucci Mane, I assume? This track was produced by cloud rap impresario Clams Casino, who also did the Lil B track at the top of this post. This is the smutty sexting/bootycall song, and it's dirrrty! "I'm just chilling getting stoned/it's three in the monin'/shawty say she all alone/she ain't got no panties on/tell me to come on/she sent a picture to my phone." Boner jams 2012!
10. Never (Feat. Mic Strange)
This song has the strongest "Dirty South" feel with the chaotic swagger of "I'm from Alabama, you can never pussy me" (?) I am not entirely sure what the verb "to pussy" implies, and neither does Urban Dictionary, but it's a prominent theme in this song: "I be gettin' pussy/you won't pussy me/y'all n*ggaz pussy jews/you a spook to me." I am even more compelled than the concept of "pussy jews" though I think this mostly just an...interesting pun, along with the winning gangsta moniker "Alabama Capone."
11. No Radio (Feat. Bentley)
Mo dirty south beats about rejecting the mainstream media with thuggy "pop champagne" lyrics and a "N*gga where my money" refrain. This song has another monologue at the end about the importance of not dwelling on the past.
12. How Far (Feat. Victoria Tate and Kaylan Parham)
One of the most beautiful tracks on this album, with a gorgeous sample from dream pop band Beach House and the addition of lovely female vocals riffing on the Beach House lyrics(I actually thought it was Hayley Williams from Paramore at first, but I actually like this chick's voice better.) I admit I like the cloudier cuts the best, and this is no exception.
13. Moneyintheskyii (Feat. Chris Lee)
Best described as a piano-laden "regret ballad"- narrator loses his girl because he can't hear the door slamming "over the music" and debates whether he'd be "better off" quitting music and cleaning up his act, but nevertheless persevering to make it though the dreams seem impossibly far away.
14. Imagine (Feat. Jhi Ali)
This song is sort of like, a less ridiculous version of OCP's "Magical Mysteries." Another billowy, operatic sample (from the Beautiful Mind Soundtrack? Not sure.) "Can you imagine/Being at war in the Serengheti/Can you imagine/Being told you got 6 months to live/Can you imagine/Sitting in the pupil of the eye that watches the universe" ok, a little corny, but it's a lovely song and works well as a closing track, especially with this bittersweet closing line: "Can you imagine success/Can you imagine...failure." REALNESS.
All in all, I'd give this album about 8/10 on my personal scale. It's definitely one of the best hip hop records I've heard in recent times, and well worth buying, especially to support the independent music scene in Huntsville. I am looking forward to checking out their 11/11 release Island (damn, prolific though Cohesive came out 1/1/11 so I guess it was for consistency sake)! It features a futuristic floating castle (island?) thing on the cover, too. Awesome.
It's been a while since I've done an "I feel pretty," so I thought I'd mesh (haha) this series with my recent obsession with lingerie.
First off you need to go to 2:17 in this video, and take a tour of Mariah Carey's lingerie closet. MARIAH CAREY HAS A DEDICATED LINGERIE CLOSET, and it's bigger than my bedroom. I think this should stand as an inspiration to femmes everywhere. (It's also got me thinking I should pull all the boxes out of my broom closet and make a mini lingerie closet of my own. It would be a good excuse to buy more lingerie.)
I love wearing lingerie around the house when I'm by myself, as well as wearing it for sexytimes. Sitting on the couch watching TV and drinking wine is soooo much more glamorous if I do it wearing a negligee, it makes me feel kind of Old Hollywood and mildly debauched. I need some maribou slippers, I think.
Rock them curves, lady!
As a fat girl, I've always had somewhat limited options for lingerie shopping- Victoria's Secret has never fit me, and never will.Fortunately, many brands such as Coquette, DreamGirl and Fantasy Lingerie make plus size pieces now, and the buyers at my go-to sex toy website EdenFantasysmake a point of stocking an impressive collection of plus size lingerie. As a girl who wears a 2/3X, this makes me very happy! I still face some challenges when buying lingerie: some lingerie seems to be blown up versions of straight size pieces, and there is sooo much variation across plus size bodies. I don't buy pieces with fitted cups, period, because they're never big enough for my boobs. The teeny tiny G-strings that come with most lingerie sets are almost universally unflattering on bigger women. Also, many of the companies don't use truly plus sized models (the women typically appear to be about size 8 or 10) so it's hard to know what a piece would actually look like on ME. But I've started to get pretty good intuition about what suits my body.
I've purchased a handful of nice pieces now, and thought I'd share reviews of some of my favorite recent purchases from the aforementioned companies, plus pictures of what the pieces actually look like on a REAL plus-sized body (mine).
This piece is more of a chemise than a babydoll, as its more form-fitting than flowy. This is a beautiful deep red/pink soft, stretchy lace mini dress, with spaghetti straps and a plunging V-neck with decorative straps at the bust and back. I've worn it to a club night with tights underneath, so it can be worn as risque outwear if you are so included. I think this would be a flattering style for all body types, and it's available in aqua, red, and black as well as the raspberry shown here. I skip the matching G string and wear it with my own bra and panties underneath (for extra support). Grade:9/10. My only complaint is the tiny panties, though that's fairly standard. I love this piece so much that I bought it in black as well!
Wow- I had my doubts about this one, since it has a very defined bustline, but I discovered it fits me well with OR without a bra (and is verrrry sexy without a bra since the mesh transparently outlines the breasts). This piece is very soft, form fitting, yet drapey at the hem. There's a transparent sequined butterfly applique between the breasts that looks very elegant rather than trashy (Mariah would approve). The stretchy fabric is a bigger weave than traditional mesh, almost like a very fine fishnet. I adore this piece, and wear it every chance I can. I want it in blue and red as well! Grade: 9/10. Again, tiny panties, but I lurrrrve this one.
Maker: Coquette Size Range: S-1X/2X
Ok, so this piece isn't exactly "sexy lingerie" (though it does hug my curves very nicely.)This nightie is covered in an amazing pattern of pervy little cartoon people, such as a dude in an army helmet with two dicks, naked old people, a rasta guy with a giant dick, a lady in a crotchless cat suit, etc. (check out this review for a close-up of the pattern) on a super soft white cotton chemise with white ribbon straps. This piece offers enough coverage that could theoretically be worn as a NSFW minidress at a club or party. I am considering buying 2 or 3 of these because not only is this piece fun and flattering, it's unbelievably COMFORTABLE for at home wear. Seriously, I never want to take this off. Grade:10/10. It doesn't come with panties, which is fine with me, and you can purchase a matching thong separately (though it only goes up to XL.)
Finding sexy underthings that make you feel good about your body is a wonderful thing! I encourage you to check out thelingerieselection atEdenFantasys- they not only feature sexy pieces in a wide range of sizes, they recently got a huge shipment of sexy men's underwear as well (why should the ladies get to have all the fun?)
