I Feel Pretty #8: Fancy Body Products!

It's been a while since I've written an "I feel pretty," and I thought it was high time I reviewed some of the various beauty and body products from EdenFantasys I've tried in recent months, including a few favorites that make self care time extra fun!

#1: Venus Body Scrub

This stuff is the bomb diggity, and it's become a must-have in my shower. It's not at all like your typical thick sugar or salt-based scrub, more of a shower gel finely ground pumice and dead sea minerals, so it's better for daily soft-skin maintenance than hardcore exfoliation. The scents are uncommonly good, and don't trigger my allergies at all. So far I've tried the milk scent, which smells like almonds and sweet cream, and the peach scent, which is like bathing in ripe summer fruit. None of the scents really linger strongly on the skin, and there's also an unscented for folks who dislike fragrances. The dead sea minerals in the wash leave your skin super soft and nice. 5 stars!

#2: Dona Lingerie Wash

Dona is a line of body products from the System Jo lube line, ranging from the predictable shower gels and scrubs, to more unusual stuff like linen spray and this lingerie wash. The products come in really pretty bottles with a lace pattern on them, and have unusual scents with supposedly aphrodisiac properties such as Mangosteen, Camu Camu and Goji Berry. I personally think the aphrodisiac thing is just marketing hype, and admittedly am a fan of more conventional scents. But I've had fun trying various products from the line, and thusfar my favorite is the lingerie wash. I collect lingerie, and the washing machine can be hard on lace and other delicates, and this special lingerie soap actually makes handwashing kind of fun. You simply fill a tub or sink with warm water, add some of this soap, let your lingerie soak for 20 minutes or so, and rinse it clean. Super easy, and it leaves a nice scent on the lingerie as well- I got the Mangosteen which smells very fruity, like a mix between citrus and mango- I might suggest a milder scent like Blue Lotus for this particular application. At any rate, it's motivated me to take better care of my lingerie!

#3: Not Soap Radio Moisturizing Body Souffle

I have yet to form a verdict about the Not Soap Radio product line (what the hell is the brand name supposed to mean? Ceci n'est pas un soap? How am I supposed to figure out what a shower gel called "Liquid Freud"  smells like?) Yes, Not Soap Radio kind of seems to be marketed to Manic Pixie Dreamgirls and Dadaists, and to be honest the "Awash in a field of four leaf clover" scented shower gel I tried (which smells kind of green, but mostly like chemical additives) was a bit of a letdown. However, I am definitely enjoying the "I'm Not Here, I'm Really Island Hopping" scented body butter, which is the perfect summery blend of coconut and lemony scents without being too overwhelming (and also legitimately describes my current mental state pretty well. LALALA!) I tend not to need to moisturize heavily in the summertime anyway, and just a little bit of this thick cream will keep my skin in nice condition apres-sun with the added bonus of a yummy beachy fragrance.

This post was sponsored by EdenFantasys (all opinions expressed are mine), awesome retailer of bath and body products, and awesome sex toys!

Kanye West as Guy Dyke

This Slate blog about Kanye West's obsession with dykes is the perfect intersection of my fascination with hip hop and queerness (and something I've theorized about with Brazilian Maik for years).

I still need to write an essay about the ways Kanye West is misunderstood, though I guess I kind of already did, three years ago. It is my belief that his asshattery doesn't cancel out his talent- he is a legit musician, even if he is a fucking dickbag. Also, he was right about Single Ladies being a better video, even if he expressed that opinion in the shittiest way possible, and he was right that George Bush doesn't care about black people, and I really love him for saying that on live TV, even if he apologized for it later.

Also, I had no idea that Amber Rose is queer, which totally blows my theory about short hair not being a significator of queerness for black (or rather, biracial) women. (I still think in general black women with short hair are not assumed to be gay at the same rate as white women, but what do I know...)

Who's Having a Better Time in Norway? G-Side Vs. of Montreal

I am exceedingly fond of Alabama-based Cloud Rap/Dirty South duo G-Side. I also love wacked out Elephant 6 Collective/Janelle Monae collaborators of Montreal. What do these two wildly disparate groups have in common, you ask? They have a bunch of lyrics about Norway in their songs, because of Montreal frontman Kevin Barnes lived there for a while with his wife and baby, and G-Side is has a big Norwegian following and play a lot of shows there, as well as collaborating with Norwegian Artists like Chris Lee (this track in particular is awesome) and Maya Vik. It begs the question: who is having a better time in on the most sun deprived countries on earth: the Southern rappers or the twee indie rockers? Let's find out!!!

of Montreal: "A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger"

I spent the winter on the verge of a total breakdown while living in Norway  

I felt the darkness of the black metal bands 

But being such a fawn of a man I didn't burn down any old churches
Just slept way too much, just slept

G-Side: "16 Shots"

I done walked in places these boys ain't never flown 

I got a Norwegian freak who don't speak no English, so I use my dick as the Rosetta Stone.

of Montreal: "Oslo in the Summertime"


Oslo in the summertime nobody can fall asleep

I'm staring out the window from my bed

At 4 a.m. the sun is up

look the sky is peppered with sea birds and with crows all cackling

G-Side: "Came Up"

I'm gonna have an aisle seat on the next trip to Oslo 

We're gonna bring the whole fam like we bought the plane tickets at the Costco

In Conclusion:
G-Side is definitely having a better time in Norway, boning Norwegian freaks and working on songs with local musicians. of Montreal, on the other hand, is having a really bad fucking time, alternately sleeping a lot and suffering insomnia. (Not to make light of this- Kevin Barnes actually suffered a major depressive episode living in Norway, I'm just glad he channeled it into some awesome pop songs.) I confess I would love it if G-Side and of Montreal collaborated on a Norway-themed track, despite their very different experiences in the land of smoked salmon and prohibitively expensive coffee! Because I am a Scandinavia-obsessed music nerd. The end!